it stops again

....Where did it all go? Did I change so much that I can't even recognize myself.
Did I lose myself in this process of growing up and change?
Doubt that maybe my decision to be better wasn't such a good idea.
Somehow everything sounds and feels like question.
I don't want to question things anymore.
Can for once something I say have a meaning and make sense.
Where is all this purpose? When did I decide to screw myself up.
Not in a way that anyone will remember for sure.